I'm sick of being seen as something I ain't...outside, I all of a sudden don't like what I like, don't know what I know, don't live what I live...they look down on me because they think they know more than me about a subject, though it's the contrary...I'm useless, dumb, inferior, pathetic....why is that what they get out of me? I'm gonna be left alone for the rest of the year, the 24...I'm gonna stay here, once again, for one year, and why not 2 years? this year I couldn't realize that I was gonna stay for a year again, but now, it's enough, i can't take it anymore, I don't want to be throwing away my life year after year, I'm not living, I'm waiting...I got so paniced by the thought of staying here that I began to cry without being able to stop...I'm getting vulnerable again...for 6 months I have been ...emotion-less...now my real me is returning...I begin to cry, without any sign for it, without even thinking about crying...again....the more I'm around people, the more I have the impression I hate..people

this isn't a life, this is a waiting room